We live in dangerous times for those outside of the “normal.”
Yesterday, I removed all my bumper stickers. Today, I pull down my journal posts and start, once more, anew.
Last night I had a long, passionate, heart-wrenching conversation with three friends, all conservative and all telling me that I have nothing to worry about.
They are all straight. They are all white. They are all male. And they are all mainstream and safe. I tried, I really did, to explain the fear and the reaction to that fear but it fell on deaf ears.
Is the answer to retreat and hide? Probably not. But, I have children and must consider their safety before I place myself into the path of the storm. It isn’t fair to them, and it isn’t safe.
We shall soon see if these worries are justified, or if the people will rise up and fight back in ways that I do not have the luxury to do.
Be resolute, but be safe. I am a safe place for any who need it. I blend in. I can camouflage and that has already begun. I am one of the lucky ones. I was raised Christian and I know the bible and the language. I was born speaking English and my skin is pale – as a white person I am safe in that herd as long as they do not look too closely beyond the carefully laid illusion over who I am.
I lived in the closet for long time and I gave myself a day of mourning and rage but today is a new day. The closet will keep my kids safe, so that casual passersby do not see me as threatening, or challenging. I will remain in the background, fighting quietly, until this storm is upon us.
And it is coming. I just hope it is not too late.